When Friends and Family Ask for Money

Your brother needs to borrow money to pay the mortgage on a house he could have never afforded in the first place. Your parents’ 401k has been decimated, and they need a little help. Your sister is drowning in credit card debt, and it is up to you to throw her a lifeline.

Commercial lenders are making it harder to borrow money; the job market is shrinking, and nest eggs and emergency funds have been sapped by sinking stock prices. So naturally, people are turning to family and friends to help them through the troubled economy.

Family lending is typically done out of a sense of duty or obligation. These transactions are as much emotional as they are financial, and they rarely end well. We have all been conditioned to “take care of our own,” but here are five things to consider before you open your wallet or your checkbook for a loved one.

1.) Look at your financial situation. If you’re struggling to make ends meet and don’t have at least a six-month emergency fund of your own, you can’t even afford to think about lending anybody money. You should also never tap into money earmarked for retirement and education savings. If your friend or relative does not understand this…

2.) Don’t be an enabler. If the person asking you for money is unwilling to talk about living beyond their means and does not seem genuinely interested in creating a spending plan, don’t lend them money. If you do, you’re being an enabler, not a friend. If they are not overhauling their financial habits, your money will only land them in more financial trouble down the road.

3.) Know yourself. Many financial planners tell their clients to “Just say no,” but you have to decide how well you will be able to live with your decision. How would you really feel if you didn’t help your parents when they needed it? Are there things you can do besides giving them money, like helping them find a financial planner and create a budget, etc.? What can you really live with?

4.) Be realistic. If you decide to give your relatives money, realize that you are unlikely to get it back. Think of it as a gift and talk to your accountant about the IRS codes for gift giving.

5.) Remember it’s not just your decision because it’s not just your money. Loaning money that you may not get back affects your spouse and children, too. Make sure that you discuss this with them before you make any decisions. Discuss the impact on your family budget, the impact on the situation and how the loan will make everyone feel about the family member or friend who is asking. Tensions often fester, so it is imperative to really find out how everybody feels. Decide together. In the end, you will be glad you are not solely responsible for the outcome.

Once you’ve made your decision, be honest with the person who asked for the loan. Tell them how it relates to your financial situation and how you had to take your own family into consideration. If the answer is no, and they truly don’t understand, you have, without question, made the right decision.

Honesty and respect are essential if your relationships—and your checkbooks—are to remain balanced.

Breaking The Cycle Of Borrowing Money And Paying Interest

Found this interesting article and wanted to share it as it is something a lot of people struggle with (including myself).

http://www.ncnblog.com/2008/02/28/breaking-the-cycle-of-borrowing-money-and-paying-interest/

For the first fifteen years of my adult life, I borrowed money for every major purchase. Three years ago, I decided to stop borrowing money and get out of debt. As you can imagine, going from a ‘borrower’ to a ‘non-borrower’ (Is that a word?) can be a difficult process.

Here’s how I did it -

1. I created two lists. List A was a list of my monthly expenses – by priority. List B was a list of monthly income. I realized, after making the lists, that I could live without using a credit card or borrowing money, but only if I reduced the number of items in list A.

2. After establishing the fact that I COULD live without borrowing money, I then created a plan to insure that I WOULD live without borrowing money. So, I took the numbers from List A and List B and created a monthly budget.

3. Once the budget had been created, I began to look for additional ways to reduce debt and increase savings. I quickly established an emergency fund of $1000. Throughout the ensuing debt reduction process, I always maintained an emergency fund balance between $800 and $2000. The emergency fund served as my new ‘credit card’. When an unexpected expense reared its ugly head – I would dip into my emergency fund, deal with the expense, and move forward.

4. After creating the budget and establishing the emergency fund, I began to attack my debts. I used the debt snowball and in less than 10 months, I was debt free.

Now, if you’ve made it this far, you’ll note that these four steps cover the ‘financial side’ of the process. But, what about the ‘personal side’? What changes took place, internally? How did a compulsive borrower become a competent saver?

1. I began to consider the longterm ramifications of my spending/borrowing habits. I found a few online calculators and calculated how much money I was paying in interest – and how much money I was ‘losing’ by not contributing to my retirement accounts. Seeing these calculations had a profound effect – emotionally and psychologically.

2. After realizing that ‘something’ had to be done – I sat down with my wife and we talked about what we wanted out of life. We both realized that we had ‘everything’ we wanted – except for financial security. We dedicated ourselves to a life of saving and frugality.

3. I did not cut-up my credit cards or freeze them in the freezer or hide them in a sock drawer. I simply left them in my wallet – and refused to use them. I made up my mind that I would be different. Instead of ‘removing’ the temptation, I faced it head-on. Also, I made a promise to myself (and my readers) that I would do my level best to live without borrowing money. Making this promise ‘changed’ me.

4. Instead of hiding my struggles, I began to seek the advice and council of money-smart folks. I asked questions and I listened to answers. Admitting my failures allowed me the freedom to accept constructive criticism. By the way – Most successful people are happy to share their methods, opinions, and time. All I really had to do was ask.

Getting out of debt feels great. Living debt free feels even better. But, the entire process started when I made some ‘financial’ AND ‘personal’ changes. Instead of continuing the same behaviors – and foolishly anticipating different results – I radically changed my lifestyle – and enthusiastically anticipated progress.

The First Step

Some Cool Household Tips

God's Wings

The painters of these Feathers are outstanding, but the message below the Feathers, "God's Wings," will touch your heart.......

God's Wings

After a forest fire in Yellowstone National Park, forest rangers began their trek up a mountain to assess the inferno's damage.  One ranger found a bird literally petrified in ashes, perched statuesquely on the ground at the base of a tree.  Somewhat sickened by the eerie sight, he knocked over the bird with a stick.  When he gently struck it, three tiny chicks scurried from under their dead mother's wings.  The loving mother, keenly aware of impending disaster, had carried her offspring to the base of the tree and had gathered them under her wings, instinctively knowing that the toxic smoke would rise.  She could have flown to safety but had refused to abandon her babies.  Then the blaze had arrived and the heat had scorched her small body, the mother had remained steadfast...because she had been willing to die, so those under the cover of her wings would live.

'He will cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you will find refuge.'  (Psalm 91:4)

My instructions were to send this to people that I wanted God to bless.  Please pass this on to people you want to be blessed.

Time waits for no one.  Treasure every moment you have..  You will treasure it even more when you can share it with someone special.

To realize the value of a Friend, you only have to lose one.

Hoping for a Breast Cancer Cure

The T-Shirt of the year.

This is the cutest breast cancer email I have ever received.

How to Grow Moss

Moss looks wonderful in the garden, especially on rocks and rock walls. It gives any garden a sense of age and weight. Getting moss to grow on rocks or on the ground in your garden simply requires you give the moss the growing conditions it needs and have some patience while it gets established.

What Does Moss Like?

Mosses like moisture, shade and generally prefer an acidic soil (5.0 - 6.0). Partial to full shade is essential. Hot afternoon sun will destroy a patch of moss in no time. Did you know that moss has no roots? It has little filaments that allow it to take up nutrients, but no true roots, so it will dry out even faster than groundcover plants.

How to Get Moss to Grow on Soil

The easiest way to get a patch of moss started is to take a piece from somewhere else and move it. Rake and scratch the surface of the soil you’re going to be putting it on, so that the filaments make good contacts. Wet the area and lay the moss on top of it. Press is well into the soil. It even helps if you pin it in place or put some light rocks on it to anchor it. Newly transplanted moss will need to be kept moist for the first few weeks. You can tell you moss as taken when it doesn’t lift with a light tug.
I’ve heard that certain mosses will only grow on soil and others only on hard surfaces. I haven’t found a definitive answer on this, but it’s probably wise to take your transplant moss from a similar surface to minimize transplant problems.

How to Get Moss to Grow on Rocks, Bricks or Pots

It’s a little harder to start moss on a rock by simply lifting it and moving it. To grow moss on rocks, bricks or pots, many people have luck cultivating moss by mixing it with buttermilk and painting it on the new surface.

Maintaining Moss

To keep your moss growing well, you need to maintain ideal moss conditions: shade, moisture and a low soil pH. You’ll also need to keep the weeds out. Moss can’t compete for moisture with the roots of weeds.
Be sure to remove fallen leaves in the fall.

A Final Moss Growing Tip

I wanted moss to grow around the edges of my raised water garden. To do this, I lined the top edge of my garden with landscape fabric and laid a small piece of moss on it. Since the fabric soaked up water and stayed moist, the moss took hold and spread quickly.
So now when I want to start a new patch of moss, I put it on a scrap of landscape fabric and set it in on the side of my water garden, although a suspect a shallow tray of water would work as well. Once the moss filaments are attached to the landscape fabric, I can move the whole piece to the soil I’ve raked and prepared for transplanting. You’ll still need to keep it moist for several weeks, but it seems to make a stronger start.

Application For Employment

Healthier treats

Sometimes we just feel like a sweet treat or savoury treat. However, most treat items provide ‘empty calories’ which means no fibre, vitamins, or minerals. These result in blood sugar drops and can lead to feelings of tiredness. Importantly, eating is all about balance and moderation. Making a better choice is always the best way to go, so read labels and try to choose ‘treat’ items that are as close to less than 10g total fat as possible. Here are some great options to help you make healthier choices:



Sweet treat options:

Dark chocolate.
Digestive biscuits.
Try a children’s sweet cereal bar as they are much lower in fat.
Carob or yoghurt-coated rice cakes.
Crunchies or health rusks.
Tinned fruit (in juice not syrup) with some low fat custard.
Lite ice cream.
Low fat frozen yoghurt.
Strawberries dipped in chocolate (set in the fridge).
Frozen grapes for a cold, sweet treat.
Low fat, low GI sweet muffin.

Savoury treat options:

Low fat popcorn.
Oven-baked pretzels.
Vegetable chips (tip: make a low fat dip of smooth cottage cheese with herbs).
Raw, unsalted nuts.
Trail mix (seeds, mixed and dried fruit combinations).
Vegetable sticks (such as carrots or snap peas) with ¼ tub hummus, mashed avocado, or low fat/fat-free cottage cheese.
Low fat, low GI savoury muffin.
Low fat, high fibre crackers with white cheese.
Fat-free savoury crackers.

Pit Bulls Saved By $1 Million Grant From PetSmart Charities

by Sharon Seltzer - July 31, 2012 - 3:44 pm

PetSmart Charities is doing their part to stop overcrowding in animal shelters and the senseless killing of two of the most euthanized pets across the country. They have awarded $1 million in grants for a nationwide spay and neuter campaign for pit bulls and cats.


The campaign called “Primp Your Pit” is being offered during August at 63 non-profit spay and neuter clinics in 30 states. The goal is to sterilize 6,750 pit bulls during the month.

The grant program, which hopes to reduce overcrowding in city animal shelters, offers spay and neuter surgeries for a special rate of $20, including a free nail trim.

PetSmart Charities reports that 35 percent of cats and dogs in U.S. households are not spayed or neutered. “Pit bulls, in particular, end up in shelters in large numbers due to the myths and negative media and public perceptions that are associated with the breed.”

“Our national grant program gives much-needed help to pit bull terriers that are especially at risk,” said Susana Della Maddalena, executive director of PetSmart Charities, Inc. “Through the ‘Primp Your Pit’ promotion and our ongoing efforts to make affordable spay/neuter surgeries available to the public, pet parents can prevent unwanted litters and ensure their pet lives a long, happy life.

Each year approximately 8 million pets end up in shelters and 4 million of them – about 11,000 a day – are euthanized. Many become homeless as a result of accidental litters from parents that are not fixed.

In February the grant program ran another campaign to sterilize cats, called “Beat the Heat.” It tried to spay and neuter cats before “kitten season” began in the spring. The effort was very successful and spayed and neutered 17,000 cats in one month.

Participating “Primp Your Pit” clinics are listed on the PetSmart Charities website.

PetSmart Charities was established in 1994 as a non-profit organization to create and support programs that save the lives of homeless pets, raise awareness of companion animal welfare issues and promote healthy relationships between people and pets.